Hello,
"Americans do not generally care if they are overheard or not" -Hall.
I pretty much agree with that statement. I do not really mind if I am heard or not. I am just going to say what I need to regardless of who else may be around.
Personal Space:
Example 1:
I do not like to be touched by other people. I never have. It makes me uncomfortable and I do not really enjoy it. I also do not like public displays of affection. When we first moved to Idaho we met some a Korean couple and became friends with them.
As I began to be friends with him he began to become a little more affectionate with me. One day we were sitting on the sofa watching a video, my wife was next to me and the friend was on the other side. I began to laugh at something on the show and he laughed as well. No big deal right. Well until he reached over and grabbed my inner thigh and began to laugh more. I was so caught off guard that I abruptly stood. Each person in the room looked shocked.
I did not understand why they were shocked, I was the one who was shocked, I looked at my wife for support but she also did not understand my reaction.
You see, in South Korean culture it is not proper to show outward affection to those who you do not know and on the outside Koreans are very formal and even a little distant. But once that shell is broken and you become Chingus (friends) then there are no such things as boundaries. Definitely no such things as personal space. I have seen friends who are both males walking down the street holding hands.
This is also a custom in many other countries, especially in the Middle East. But in America unless you are of a certain persuasion than it is not common to see it all.
Personal Space:
Example 2:
My family and I came to visit Korea in 2015. That is when I first met my father in law. He was a semi-wealthy man and very productive and very busy. So, we only saw him on Sundays. Well, I guess he liked me and so he would buy me things a lot. I am not used to men buying me things and I can pretty much say for certain that it was a rare thing indeed.
During one outing he decided for himself that we had become close and he decided to hold my hand as we walked. I hold the hands of my children and my wife, no other, ever. But he grabbed hold of my hand and on we went.
Personal Space:
Conclusion:
In my experience and culture these events would seen as somewhat strange and definitely weird. I was no different. I viewed these experiences in the same way. Many people have said what it takes to understand other cultures, but I do not think it is possible. You can never fully understand why you do the things you do yourself. Think about how many times you have done something and cannot understand why. And then you want to try and understand others and their differences? Do you even know yourself well enough to try and know others who are so different?
I think the approach that I can stand behind is that of loving others as Jesus loves them. I think that if I try and just focus on understanding cultures I will lose sight of the fact that even though we have differences these are my brothers and sisters and we all came from the same place. I want to be able to look at others the ways Christ does, and I do not think He is a respecter of persons. He loves all, and serves all, no matter where they are from or how they are different. That is how I want to be.
"Americans do not generally care if they are overheard or not" -Hall.
I pretty much agree with that statement. I do not really mind if I am heard or not. I am just going to say what I need to regardless of who else may be around.
Personal Space:
Example 1:
I do not like to be touched by other people. I never have. It makes me uncomfortable and I do not really enjoy it. I also do not like public displays of affection. When we first moved to Idaho we met some a Korean couple and became friends with them.
As I began to be friends with him he began to become a little more affectionate with me. One day we were sitting on the sofa watching a video, my wife was next to me and the friend was on the other side. I began to laugh at something on the show and he laughed as well. No big deal right. Well until he reached over and grabbed my inner thigh and began to laugh more. I was so caught off guard that I abruptly stood. Each person in the room looked shocked.
I did not understand why they were shocked, I was the one who was shocked, I looked at my wife for support but she also did not understand my reaction.
You see, in South Korean culture it is not proper to show outward affection to those who you do not know and on the outside Koreans are very formal and even a little distant. But once that shell is broken and you become Chingus (friends) then there are no such things as boundaries. Definitely no such things as personal space. I have seen friends who are both males walking down the street holding hands.
This is also a custom in many other countries, especially in the Middle East. But in America unless you are of a certain persuasion than it is not common to see it all.
Personal Space:
Example 2:
My family and I came to visit Korea in 2015. That is when I first met my father in law. He was a semi-wealthy man and very productive and very busy. So, we only saw him on Sundays. Well, I guess he liked me and so he would buy me things a lot. I am not used to men buying me things and I can pretty much say for certain that it was a rare thing indeed.
During one outing he decided for himself that we had become close and he decided to hold my hand as we walked. I hold the hands of my children and my wife, no other, ever. But he grabbed hold of my hand and on we went.
Personal Space:
Conclusion:
In my experience and culture these events would seen as somewhat strange and definitely weird. I was no different. I viewed these experiences in the same way. Many people have said what it takes to understand other cultures, but I do not think it is possible. You can never fully understand why you do the things you do yourself. Think about how many times you have done something and cannot understand why. And then you want to try and understand others and their differences? Do you even know yourself well enough to try and know others who are so different?
I think the approach that I can stand behind is that of loving others as Jesus loves them. I think that if I try and just focus on understanding cultures I will lose sight of the fact that even though we have differences these are my brothers and sisters and we all came from the same place. I want to be able to look at others the ways Christ does, and I do not think He is a respecter of persons. He loves all, and serves all, no matter where they are from or how they are different. That is how I want to be.
It was very interesting to read your experiences with Korean culture. I do disagree though that we can never understand why we do the things we do, this is totally what anthropology and other social sciences do. When we understand why we behave the way we do, we can develop awareness of our behavior in our interaction with others.
ReplyDeleteHi, thank you for disagreeing with me. I guess I am speaking on a personal level rather than that as a society. I believe that as individuals we are constantly growing and becoming closer to Christ or farther away, I believe that like He said in order to know ourselves we must lose ourselves, so then, do we really know ourselves? I am speaking from the standpoint of judgement and criticism and doubt. Jesus and Heavenly Father know us. We do not know us. We only have an idea of what potential we can reach. That is more of where I am coming from, but your comment definitely is right from a more scientific approach! I never really thought of that, so thank you for sharing!
DeleteHi David. I really appreciate your comment about loving people despite their differences and remembering we all came from the same place.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteHi David, it is always nice to read your posts enriched by your personal experiences in Korea. You conclusion gave me food for thought. That's interesting.
ReplyDelete