10/29/19 Week:7 Response to Culture and Psychology

Hi,

So this topic is a little sensitive and also funny. Each culture and person has something that they are proud of and feel happy about. Each culture and person has their own beliefs and their own support. And most cultures support the customs of their people.

That being said sometimes we are put into situations that can stretch us or push us beyond what our perceived levels of comfort are. As we encounter other people in our lives we may be put in situations that challenge us. I think it is important to remember that each of us will pass through challenges and we must be aware of the fact that other people pass through them as well.

Each person has their own way of doing things, and they usually do the things that are what is considered the norms of their society. When I was growing up my mother had to do everything. That was mostly due to the fact that she was a single mom, but it also was our southern culture. A woman's domain was the kitchen and the children and the mans was outside earning money to provide for them. In Korea it is pretty much the same way. Although both in America and Korea things are changing. I am not saying that change is good or bad, that is not my topic today.

When I first came to Korea I met my wife's 85 year old grandma. When I first came in she greeted me very respectfully. She made us dinner, it was fried fish and some other stuff. Her grandmother out of nowhere started to hand feed me like I was a child. I was caught off guard. But, I went with it. After the meal, which was good, but definitely the easiest I have ever eaten since I had been a child, she went into her room and walked back out and shoved a wad of money into my pocket.

She said to her granddaughter, my wife, that a man cannot feel like a man unless he has money in his pocket. Again I was caught off guard, but went with it. We had to take her to the doctor and so we walked outside, she hooked her arm through mine and let me lead her to the doctor. I was also caught off guard, but I felt honored.

At this point in Korea I was feeling really low self of esteem, I was newly married living in a foreign country teaching a language that even though was mine, was still difficult to teach it, it still is. I was feeling really bad about myself and her grandma really honored me by treating me so traditionally. I felt like a king. I still love her grandma and have the most respect for her. While I believe that my wife and I are friends, and we make all of our decisions as one, or at least we try. I know that following our cultures can be challenging when our cultures may be so different than what our beliefs may be, but it is not always a bad thing.

While when people think of psychology and culture they may want to focus on the negative effects or differences. But, I like the other side of psychology and culture, the side where people are people, and we are all in this world together, as one.

People will always have struggles and people will always be able to help people. Please do not get caught up in the differences that distance you from others, instead focus on what can bring you together.

In Korea the culture is very focused on image and prestige. As an American Koreans think that I should have really good fashion and be fit. They have almost no tolerance for people who do not "fit" their standards for what beauty is. People will get plastic surgery and it is considered normal here to fix your eyes or have some other work done. I do not have that thought, or those beliefs, I have daughters and I do believe that they are the most beautiful people in the world along with my wife, but one of the problems that I have is that Koreans think my daughters are beautiful as well. Koreans will walk up to them and say how pretty they are, which is not that horrible a thing, until they have people come up to them who say nothing, my daughters will say, mom or dad that person did not say I was pretty.

I can't stand hearing that. It makes me go "crazy". I say nothing because like I said I have daughters, and I know they are beautiful, but I do not want them to expect others to think that as well. It seems dangerous to me that they (meaning Koreans) place so much worth on exterior beauty. I want my daughters to grow up and get married to people who love them for them, and while the way they look is a part of who they are, it is not all they are.

I believe that when Jesus sees us, He sees all of us, all that we were, are, and can and will be. I do not have the ability to do that, but I will one day, and I know my daughters will make good decisions and marry good men, because it is my job to show them what a good man is. So, remember to be you first, and what other people want you to be probably never. Good things come from God, God knows you. Trust God!